That sort of sums up my attitude toward Taylor Swift. I don’t hate. I just have something else to do.

If an incident occurs in a private residence, now anybody can see the layout of the victim/suspect’s home and all their possessions. If somebody is partially or fully undressed, now they have inadvertently been exposed on the internet.

How do they even sog like that? It’s as though they’re simultaneously super wet and also super dry. ?

My name’s Joyce, and l noticed that you have not tasted any of the ambrosia salad...

Golden beets and the candy cane beets taste as good and don't stain AND ALWAY use the beet green and steam in your salad nomnomnonmnononono

If they aren’t pickled, I like them best diced with avocado and crumbled goat cheese and balsamic (maybe some kidney beans). Mmm. I’d never heard of fried though - sounds intriguing.

No debate here. Mmmmmm, sweet delicious dangerously-purple dirt.

He did tell her. If you’re the sort of person who thinks, “Clearly I should touch this extremely hot thing I was told not to touch,” then you deserve what you get.

Ew I wouldn’t want to sit on ANYTHING

Oh my god. Who does that?

There is literally nothing about this in Emily Post.

Popular opinion: Burritos are awesome, Chipotle sucks

Hey, I don’t pay you to sit on the internet and talk about your feelings. Come into my office and hold my feet for this keg stand.

I hope you are never burdened with the prosecution of a parent for beating their closeted homosexual child to death.

what it said: Full disclosure: Ornstein was a professor of mine in graduate school.

Anti-Abortion Activists Climb Into Trash, Realize They’re Finally Home

Yeah it is way too close to “sexual fluids” and when I think of sexual fluids I think of like jizz bombs and squirt ponds and stuff, you know?

Why be sorry? Her entire job is to pump more snark into the snark-receptacle that is the internet, and she gets all indignant that you gave 1/1000th of it back?

((c) Allie Brosh obv)