She’s just garlic intolerant! Check your garlic privilege.

My great grandfather was pretty racist and hated Italians as a rule, so he avoided Italian restaurants his whole life and claimed to hate garlic. A year or so before his death he was taken out to dinner, ordered something (don’t remember what) but he declared it fantastic and wanted to know what the amazing flavor…

When I rule the world the punishment for snapping your fingers to summon a server shall be the loss of said digits. I can’t even read a description of someone doing that without a red haze descending across my vision.

Right? Incoherent racist garbage is Trump’s entire political platform.

Honestly, just have him leave the room. I’ve started doing it myself. I’ll give him food and literally walk away. My husband is on meal duty at the moment, because he doesn’t freak out about it the way I do. If he’s game, I would try that.

Hornberger!

Stephen Fry 💕💖💙💚💛💜

rich people problem

I always assume when people accuse others of having sexual appetites not considered “average”, that the person accusing is really the one who likes the behavior they are accusing others of...

it’s a drink composed of coffee, unsalted butter, and coconut oil extract.

I’m allergic to crunchy.

I agree with you on the house brands. Another good house brand is Wegmans.

I think this is lovely and I agree. My husband is my best friend, my favorite person to hang out with, and the first person I want to speak to when things are wonderful or when they are painful. My marriage is the best thing in my life.

I guess this is the part where I become utterly hateable, but my wife and I are deeply in love, and after 14 years of marriage, I think she’d agree with me that, while life is hard, our marriage has been the easiest part of it. And that’s with infertility, cancer, and parental disability thrown in. It’s the marriage…

Some people don’t think things are real unless they’re hard. They’re closet Calvinists perhaps?

Shit, this has me spooked. It’s hard? That’s a constant? I mean, yeah, we argue occasionally, because that’s life. But 10 years and one baby down, and I wouldn’t describe it as “hard.” Does this mean the other shoe is about to drop? Do I not have a “real” marriage? Is this all a farce and I’m going to find out about…

The most offensive part of this story is that it took 40 minutes to make 3 pancakes at a diner. A DINER! DO YOU KNOW WHAT A DINER IS?! That's a goddamn travesty.

Now I’m picturing people having sex while doing whippets and it’s making me smile.

Jenkem. Maybe.