Were his civil rights violated?

Yes!! Double mastectomy with reconstruction right here! I got the solid silicone ones that they call “gummies”. They’re nice and squishy (like a - fresh - gummy bear, natch), and if they rupture, they won’t leak. Although, they would replace them just so no scar tissue builds up in the ruptured area.

No, no, no... It was what it was, totally appropriate based on the days we were living in. Don’t beat yourself up, the universe is in balance.

goddamnit how do people meet celebrities! and then convince the celebrity to have sex with them! how does one find harry styles and make him fall in love with oneself and one’s vagina!

My mom totally handed me off to a stranger on a plane once. I’d been screaming my head off, she was at her wits’ end, and a kindly old lady asked if she could try to calm me down. She still gets teary talking about how relieved she was.

LOL!! So many stars

Poor Kelly Welly, Mark-less again

Today we give thanks for a Mark Shrayber Dirtbag.

“He’s my friend.”

No, because they will then lose their fear of snakes and likely die in the wild thinking “oh, that’s just a salad ingredient” or form unnatural bonds with the snakes and you’ll end up with catsnake babies slithering all over your yard.

say it aint so i bet a weekly column from him would be full tilt bonkers we would love it so much

Sadly, yes. But we’ll be keeping you up to date with the weather news that matters most here.

I feel like he’s Colin Farrell-ing us and right now all we get is drunk Renner. Someday we’ll get self aware Renner back.

THEY ARE OBJECTIVELY TERRIBLE MOVIES.

It’s okay you just need to....

I’ve found that your best insurance against greedy offspring conspiring to kill you is enormous piles of debt. Give them subtle hints about worthless it would be to kill you by allowing the cable/internet service to be shut off periodically from lack of payment. They’ll be embarrassed of you, but let you live. And…

Do they really need a villain? Nothing good ever happens to those poor people. One wonders how wild and deranged they’ll get as the seasons go on.

LeVar Burton, Ken Jennings.

i see it a different way. if you commit a horrible crime like that then you are also agreeing to forfeit your own life if caught.

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