If I had to go on HSN I would DEFINITELY be day drunk.

Find a copy of Desiderata recited by him. Find it, NOW.

The lyric “boom boom boom, brighter than the moon moon moon” really speaks to me on an emotional level.

*whispers* dementia

Nicole Wallace is a sociopathic serial killer with a weird crush on Vincent D’Onofrio. Accept no substitutes.

I am still waiting for a couple of my high school bullies to be arrested for running meth labs out of their trailer park homes. Every Facebook post that confirms that they are instead living apparently normal, crime-free lives is a small disappointment. I comfort myself with the knowledge that they’re all living…

Dear celebrity moms,

I’ll join my fellow commenters in saying that they only hire the best people to do those jobs. Despite what most people think, the police don’t just let any slob with a badge and a donut jack off in the evidence department. If anything, be thankful for the people who do this and save it from us. The police get a bad…

The people who review evidence has seen the worst of humanity. You should hope it is only them who see it because as I know they are a rock of civility and humanism.

The nerds who do that work have constitutions of steel and a good eye for what they’re viewing. They are the heroes of any department.

YES. I, CatAss, unabashedly love Ryan Adams (even after that once concert where he was so fucked up he forgot a bunch of lyrics) and I will listen to this album like woah.

Nick Kroll’s description of Joe Jackson remains accurate

It makes me think of the episode of “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt” where she gets sucked into SpiritCycle and realizes it’s basically a cult all over again.

I want to be a Do something bitch and tell my boss to go f*** themselves. I hope lemon water will help.

Although it sounds like the result of some freaked-out parent being annoying, these sunburns are legitimately terrible.

I have a similar haircut to that in the picture, just a little more angled and dramatic (just got it trimmed YAY ) and I’m so jealous of the color. I don’t know if I could get away with it at my job. The fact that I’m 41 means I’m probably “TOO OLD” but THAT I wouldn’t care about. I should ask my boss and check the HR…

I’ll admit, I still don’t like either Charles or Camilla. I totally identified with Diana; she was my age, and I thought Charles treated her terribly.

Yea, I’m from the midwest, have plenty of friends who love hunting. Legit hunters fucking *HATE* people that disobey the basic rules and dignity of hunting, because it makes them look terrible.

Are they still trying to spin “but Tom is just a front bc she is really dating Chris Evans but doesn’t want anyone to know!!”?

TOM AND I STILL HAVE A CHANCE