Hockey is tribal. That's why we care about it.

No, no it won't.

Know your queues? Just because it's San Francisco? That's so racist.

the only thing worst than a list with insane wishes is the kid who just says "I don't know" when asked to make a list. If you keep that up Santa's going to get you a new cordless drill.

Spousal immunity.

I would like to take this time to express my deepest regards for the opportunity to consider your banal and laborious reply to the original post.

This is why you put a ring on it if you're gonna murder someone.

thanks for making me listen to this incredibly boring clip

They're heeeeeeeere!!!

"Sex."

Sexist as it may seem, unless his wife has a history of covert vehicle maintenance, he needs to assume it isn't getting done.

(reading this article and all I can hear:)

"TUSK!"

Tl;dr

That would be just. I'd rather be drowned than have to watch A Charlie Brown Christmas.

List of things which suck:

Schulz was from Minnesota? His life and body of work make complete sense now.

Eat a dick, Magary. I'm sure there's some Food Network themed Christmas bullshit you prefer for your kid.

Wait until this is cross-posted on Gizmodo and the hordes trip all over each other informing us how shitty Beats By Dre headphones are.

Yeah, I don't think anyone would miss the Jazz that much.