I tried eating with chopsticks in the hopethat it would help me improve my diet and encourage me to eat better quality food, much as you suggest.

Stop exaggerating Deadspin!!!! It was from a long way out, but clearly not as far as San Jose.

Bonus GIF

has earned the Arena Football equivalent of being waived

God, that scene from HGttG is the best, LOLing so hard. Perfect.

Honestly, this is reminiscent of my childhood and the discussions around game secrets (Mortal Kombat) and it couldn’t make me any more giddy.

It’s like Carrie Underwood playing Maria in The Sound Of Music. It’s like Hugh Jackman performing as Jean Valjean in Les Mis. It’s like Christopher Walken playing Captain Hook inPeter Pan Live.

This Championship couldn't have come to a better person. I went to High School with Kyven and he was one of the nicest, most respectful people you will ever meet. His father was also great just a couple months before he passed I walked by him in our athletic office and he stopped the conversation he was having and…

I'm pretty sure that's just Jeff Bagwell and Craig Biggio.

He's had a rocky road to some well-deserved success.

We've been known to dump on Dana White around these parts, but paying Dober his win bonus—UFC fighters are paid a certain amount for fighting, and a usually (always?) equal amount if they win—is definitely the right thing to do here.

Not the first time a Makita was in the crease in Chicago.

You forgot one:

Buncha bullshit. Back in my day, our games all involved shooting Russians.

Backup singers

Yep, and I bet underleveled AFKers will be an even worse problem w/ the weekly.

so lots of under leveled players to group up with leveled players... How annoying, the last time I played the game the strike playlists were lousy with AFKers hoping for us hard working guardians to do all the work.

And of course I could go on and on with stories of what I saw. A few were soaked in vomit from people getting drunk and barfing on their laptops (or worse: their parent's laptop). Then there was the lady who brought one out of storage to give to her nephew who was going away to college. She wanted to make sure it…