To his credit (?) he practically begs them to stop asking him about politics. He knows he's an idiot.

Fuckbugh?

Well, then, it sounds like you’re getting the Star Wars you want, so what’s the problem? You know what other recent franchise movie bent over backwards for fans to try to recreate the emotions and beats of the original film? Jurassic World.

Damn son, get a new job.

To be fair that's a way better mindset to have with regards to making art. Even if the art sucks, it's a way better mindset.

Has this guy been on Chopped before or something?!

Haha...”a PLANET!” I love you. It was sections OF a planet (or really just a regular world map glued onto a three-dimensional sphere), yes, but...come on. It wasn’t a PLANET.

Abby is the real problem. Faced with an obstacle? No problem, just wave your wand at it. And rhyme something. Horseshit.

Jeremy’s....iron.

My birthday is September 9th. That was the day that Final Fantasy 7 was released. It was also the day the Playstation was released, and the day the Dreamcast was released. I got all those things on their respective day ones, because it was my birthday. I thought the ride would never end.

This is from the same guy who gave us Hanna, right? I'm not just confused?

See, No Man’s Sky is perfect for people like me, who CAN’T just sit down and gorge on multiple-hour gaming marathons anymore. After I put my baby down for the night, if I can just visit a planet or two before bed....shiiiiiiit, I’d be playing No Man’s Sky for a good while.

That looks way too difficult to learn to do quickly. The allure of the middle finger is the speed and aggression and power with which you deliver it. Ideally veins bulge from your hand, arm. And as somebody else mentioned, this is all but useless while driving, THE number one place you give the finger (mainly because…

“A Queens thing, no shoes in the tatami room. Legs crossed, sippin hot sake. Big drugs like a sushi roll. She sees the cops, throws the drugs up in the poopy hole.”

The number of versions of this same joke is starting to weird me out a little.

CALL THE AQUARIUM. Oh how I laughed.

Oh it already does. There’s a VERY SMALL part of me that wants them to lose the home-opener so it’ll thin out the ranks even more. Of course then they win out and run away with Super Bowl 50. But by then of course the fake fuckfaces are back in full force. You can't win.

God: “Kam sets the tone in games, why can’t I?”

Just the other day I drove to the grocery store, and on my way back home the road was pretty much empty, except for a semi truck way back behind me. So I start speeding to outrun the semi in my rear view, and then I’d slow down a bit, and when he entered my rear view again, I’d keep repeating the Terminator 2 theme…