Flattery will get you everywhere.

I just rocked my baby to sleep to this. That was the easily the best moment of my day.

Phil Hartman's brother just posted this to Facebook. I fucking loved Jan Hooks. Rest In Peace.

"I'm only 19 but my mind is old" always blew me away. 19 years old! One of the greatest rap albums of all time!

Clearly. Where the hell did I get Stephen from? I'm blaming Kinja.

TANKS, ROBOTS

Oh I bet he looks like Charlize Theron in Devils Advocate. Not that he's an attractive woman, obviously, just that he's covered in lacerations.

And you can tell everybody

Guillermo del Toro's sensibilities are obnoxious as shit. It was like watching a live-action anime movie, and I hate like 98% of all anime movies.

No! I agree, I'm cranky about EVERYTHING now. I just really, really enjoyed Godzilla. But yea, with a cast that solid it was a shame the non-Godzilla stuff wasn't better. I'd say Godzilla 2014 is "Really Good" but with a better human angle it could've been "Great."

When I was a teenager I took an eighth of mushrooms and went to see Starship Troopers, it felt like it lasted nine hours and I cried twice. Greatest theater experience of my life.

Domino's will collapse? I think he thinks that society in general will collapse. Look at his eyes. He's insane.

Ghidorah with today's visual effects....hoo boy. They can have a solid hour-long shot of Elizabeth Olson crying and looking scared if they just give me twenty minutes of Ghidorah right at the end.

I agree completely that the human story is weak as shit, BUT, it was the withholding of Godzilla and his abilities and stuff that gave them such an impact when it did happen. I also totally get that it's just a shrewd filmmaking trick, but hell, it works (Jaws is the only example I can think of where everything clicks…

What a touching, poignant article. Well played, Stephen.

Six people in the same group fell asleep? Are you and your crowd of friends 70 years old? I mean, sure, it's not non-stop monster mayhem, but it's still a loud movie. Huh.

If he declines, I'll take it. I can be unimaginably cruel, I have a hair-trigger temper, and I can DRAW AMAZING PENISES.

Oh yea, the director Gareth Edwards already confirmed he wanted to do a "King of the Monsters" style sequel and he specifically mentioned introducing Mothra, which I have NO idea how they'll make "gritty" and "realistic" (it's a giant moth) but whatever, I can't wait to see them try.

Huh.

I dunno, I thought the bug monsters were rad, the boy monster brings the nuke to the big girl bug monster and they are all affectionate and shit, and then she cries when Kick-Ass kills her babies. They acted like real animals, I thought it was well done. Although I didn't quite understand why Godzilla was hunting…