The other day she posted that she found a really good deal on one - only $389. She cares about the people that can't afford the things she can, you know.

You win the Internet!!

I'm eight years older and suddenly feeling like a dewy young lamb.

Ugh ENOUGH with Lindsay Lohan. There is no comeback. There will never be a comeback. She stopped caring about her acting career a long time ago because she found a new way to finance her lifestyle, which doesn't involve cleaning up, getting up early, learning lines, being on time, etc. this media circus is pathetic…

Can we switch to Dave Franco now?

Boats and Hoes and dozy doats and liddle lamzy divey

My theory is that all Hollywood male actors eventually turn into Mrs. Doubtfire starting in their late 40s.

Ok, I'm sorry, "steal from our food?" I'm down with most criticisms of cultural appropriation, but that's absurd. I vote we take the bagels away from the goyim, let's see how that goes down.

"Coachella boogers"

This is the best Donatella has looked in years!

Oh, for GOD'S SAKE, Phyllis. I told you to ZIP IT and tend to your lacquered hair and Campbell's soup casseroles instead of instigating the feminists. Remember we discussed how you piss off the feminists? Yes? And you agreed to STOP talking about "hypergamy." Oh my fucking god, Phyllis.

This is why gay people can't get married, you guys - because two men getting married or two ladies getting married would earn the same amount as their spouse AND ZOMG HOW WOULD THAT EVEN WORK??!?!?!

"All this is is some Christoper Columbus shit: White people thinking that simply because they just discovered something, it must be new."

Everyone knows ladies can't do math

Aside from the criticisms of the study, I'm not very keen on the idea that it's healthier for sexuality to be fluid rather than fixed. Why can't both be healthy, like so many other variations in human sexuality?

I didn't know the van down by the river gives out degrees! I just thought it's where delinquent teenagers end up.

One of my favorite things to come out of last night's episode:

I think i might be the only person who actually liked Ramsey. It is partly because i like the actor from Misfits, but also that despite him doing some nasty things, most of those things have been done to Theon, and i have a hard time not wishing eternal suffering on Theon for his betrayal and brutality.