My female man cave is where I hoard men. You should see my Australian collection.

Lying liars lying.

"Read carefully?" Psh. Whatever. I'll read as carelessly as I want. I thought this was America!

Oh, Chad's a good one.

In other words, "We're going to remind this dumbass that you don't say this shit out loud. Super Secret Policy, BRIAN*."

The drivers who tear into our cul-de-sac are the ones with kids. I imagine it's because they're so scheduled up to their eyeballs they can't waste those extra seconds to, you know, not risk hitting someone else's kids in the cul-de-sac.

Now I don't feel so stupid. Thank you.

I just had a horrible moment in that I read the headline and thought, "SHIPPING THEM WHERE?!"

"My God, do you know what this means? The person we're looking for watches TELEVISION!" - all law enforcement officials look crestfallen and doubt their abilities to catch the killer

So what you're saying is that I was popular and I missed it because I was wasted.

You forgot one! 15 things you should never say to an introvert.

"Huh. Women aren't watching our shows. Let's change our logo."

I got into a fight with a woman last week who told me her tax dollars shouldn't go to my birth control because of her beliefs, and if I really wanted my pills I should go on Medicare. First I told her that my healthcare coverage is taken out of my paycheck so I'M paying for it, and second...Medicare is…

Two things:

Hollywood will continue to view successful women-centric movies as an anomaly. Because Hollywood employs some of the dumbest people alive.

Our chihuahua/pug is the greatest puppy. He talks and sings and will shove his head under a blanket and flail his legs when he wants belly rubs. He barks sometimes, but let's be honest. That UPS man might be trying to kill us. We don't know.

There's a little girl in one of the houses behind us. She doesn't know the words to the song yet, so she runs around her yard yelling LET IT GO-OH-OH, LET IT GO-OH-OH over and over. She has the tune a bit, but the broken record bit is getting old fast.

I once had a thigh gap, then I hit puberty. :-\

"No, I'm a terrible leader. Don't follow me, I'll get everyone killed. Well...okay. Just one more time. But don't ask me again." -Cas

I love Cas, but I'm done with him looking confused all the time. All other angels appear to have a grip, but Cas looks like he's trying to solve the problem of cold fusion while smelling a fart. I understand the writers want this to be a constant part of his charm, to make fans want to protect him and take care of…