"For every one of those women, there's a Louis C.K. and a Henny Youngman and all those – "

I'm a cyber bully :(

Genius marketing. Let's do a montage with grandma for the next round.

You know when I really didn't want to buy a car?

I tend to agree. My Barbie always played basketball or battled Skeletor, and now as a grownup I do neither.

Gary Busey and Courtney Stodden hung out. I would love to know what they talked about.

His eyebrows, though.

Unless you're tying to be King of the Bears or something.

My god. It's like every bit of misogynistic, victim-blaming, fatphobic, gender essentialist bullshit part of our culture was coagulated through some black magic into a corporeal form. And then it wrote a goddamn book.

I've always thought this but tonight especially: Chiwetel Ejiofor is a very, VERY sexy man.

On the one hand, it seems like she means well.

His name is The .58 or The Half Child. He likes to hang out on The Staircase to Infinity. (The Phantom Tollbooth reference.)

This guy can get 6 different women to sleep with him? Are we sure he's not the one doing the ethering?

How about we all just do whatever the f*** we want and stop worrying about whether our choices and lifestyles align with the latest privileged writer's trend piece on All the Things Women Are Doing Wrong.

Hey Perez. You're the fucking worst.

It may not be served again after last Christmas when she asked if she should make it and I told her (a few glasses of wine into the holiday) that it looked like an abortion. Oops.

Aww, was someone's gay brother a better high school football player than they were?