You know how in the tabloids there's always an "expert" to analyze pictures and pass a diagnosis? This shit is a lot like that.

My mom had four kids. She's barely wasted an opportunity to tell us how we all ruined her life. In fact, she disowned my older brother and sisters because my sisters made her a grandmother (making her feel old) and my brother was simply a disappointment.

SHOULDER PADS

ha.

We do seem pretty afraid of zombies, so we've got that going for us, which is nice.

I watched the final episode of Friends with my oldest friend and her then-husband.

Hey Shane West: pics or it didn't happen.

Wups, posted in the wrong spot. I cant even blame Kinja

I went to four proms: 10th grade, 11th grade, 2 in 12th grade (hometown and town next door) and by the second prom I was bored. I can't believe I went to two more after that. Thankfully promposals didn't exist in my hometown in the late 80s.

My fingers are like that. During the winter I contemplate wrapping yarn around it like a boyfriend's class ring because there have been times it's flown off my finger and I have to follow the ting-tings to find it.

How DARE you ruin chicken for me. Good day, sir.

Extra points if you pronounce the words as they're written. I'd like to see the best man's speech top THAT.

Maybe a button that says "I'm peeing. Right now. Ask me why you didn't notice!"

"Look lady, I don't care about what's going on in your pants."

Hey, remember when Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carrey dated? Now her career won't stop and he's tweeting pieces of clothing. Is she some sort of career succubus? Maybe a success vampire?

Tracie: What's chai? It's like a leaf or something? [Googles "chai"] Oh chai just means "tea" in many cultures.

Your move, Miley.

I was just about to post this when I saw your comment: It's kind of like people deciding for me what to do with my pubic hair based on the dozens of imaginary men who will reject me the minute my pants are off. I can't live my life thinking about what other people think about my hair length, amount of makeup, leg…

By watching Maury?

A single man dating woman after woman is seen as living the dream, a single woman dating man after man is seen as only one step away from leaving the house smelling like cat piss.