I agree. Being true to yourself is healthy, and that includes people who know their sexuality is fixed.

Whenever I get frustrated with something I'm going to say, "Oh my fucking god, Phyllis!"

I always figured there was more going on in that van. Like selling degrees for cash. And maybe palm reading.

I should have sued my mom for malpractice when she didn't take me in for stitches when I split my skin open just under my left eyebrow. I thought I put my eye out, she said, "It's FINE," I have a nice jagged scar and I'm lucky it didn't get infected.

Soon to be featured in Forlorn Waif Weddings.

This reminds me of the time my brother wanted to sue Arnold Schwarzenegger for The Terminator because it was based on his life. Then he said his girlfriend was a time-traveling witch and I said, "That's not the plot to The Terminator AT ALL."

Not everyone is on Reddit. I know. That sounds unpossible.

I see we're no longer overreacting to "Jolie Leg."

Han shot only, such trigger finger, much blasting, wow.

Leo is NEVER getting his Oscar now.

He's My Dad's Accountant on top and 70's Swinger's Club on the bottom. She's Preppy Mom on top and Teen Angst on the bottom. Who ARE these people?

I think I'm an I Don't Care, I'll Do What I Want Bitch. Because I can go to Starbucks without analyzing the ever living fuck out of it.

Yeah? Well I can tell my dogs "no" and they don't storm off screaming that they hate me.

Some of those are so BUSY. It's like my teenage closet from the 80s threw up a dress.

Has there been a What Kind of Sex Toy Are You? quiz yet?

Oh. Yeah, that's a good point.

I've always enjoyed the church's strong-arm emphasis on traditional marriage and family, but then they freak out if it's suggested that Jesus had one. Wouldn't it further cement their stance if they could go around saying, "See? Even JESUS was married to a woman and had kids and we should all follow Jesus' example."?

If I see one more inspirational quote tacked onto a picture of a sunset I'm going to hang myself.

"Dorothy Mantooth is a saint!"

Seriously. WE HAVE PROOF AND SHIT.