He wants to bang my friends? But they don't watch their weight and one of them has short hair! I'm so confused.

My response to this picture was, "Harsh filter, bro" and then I was confused because I don't talk like that.

I made it 50 pages and threw it away. I believe the last passage I read was about Bella making lasagna or something.

I've never seen Avatar. We even own the DVD and I still refuse to watch it.

This is timely. Just last night I was lamenting to my husband how sick of boobs I am (he was quite confused by my statement). Now, I SHALL HAVE MY PEEN.

Woodley's going to become the Anti-GOOP. The Anti-GOOP has no use for drugs other than the tree frogs she's totally going to try licking later.

It's the black hole corset.

Not many people know it, because I don't use it very often, but I do have an "I'm shocked!" face. I'll use it the minute someone refuses to work with him.

The only difference between George Clooney and Jennifer Aniston is that the gossipers can't speculate on how many babies Clooney is impregnated with at any given time. It must drive them nuts.

...

I heard that Shailene Woodley puts her food to cook on boulders in the sun.

I agree. He's already on record as wishing he'd made his world smaller. I suspect it's been hard for him to keep his passion for the massiveness of his own project. I still hope he finishes, though.

I hope not, because I'm a woman and also look stupid in hats.

If I was still a drinker I'd take a shot every time one of the guys rolls his eyes and be drunk in ten minutes.

Yes. I take pictures of myself all the time. I even have a picture of myself as my Kinja avatar.

We should be hidden away and our faces never seen.

I appear to have too much time on my hands. Maybe I'll start a lifestyle blog? It looks really easy to do.

Great. All I needed was another place to buy nail polish from. I'm about to fall into a polish black hole. Remember mmmeeeeeeeeee.....

Amen. I'm having enough trouble living up to my own.

All I know about New York City is that when young pretty white people aren't having sex and complaining about it, they're getting raped and murdered in horrible ways. (Sex in the City, Girls/All Law & Order series)