I hope not, because I'm a woman and also look stupid in hats.

If I was still a drinker I'd take a shot every time one of the guys rolls his eyes and be drunk in ten minutes.

Yes. I take pictures of myself all the time. I even have a picture of myself as my Kinja avatar.

We should be hidden away and our faces never seen.

I appear to have too much time on my hands. Maybe I'll start a lifestyle blog? It looks really easy to do.

Great. All I needed was another place to buy nail polish from. I'm about to fall into a polish black hole. Remember mmmeeeeeeeeee.....

Amen. I'm having enough trouble living up to my own.

All I know about New York City is that when young pretty white people aren't having sex and complaining about it, they're getting raped and murdered in horrible ways. (Sex in the City, Girls/All Law & Order series)

Oh God, I'll never get it right!

So according to her current lifestyle, we should marry boring and successful early, have a couple of kids, then divorce him, have our brilliant carreers, and date the fun, funny, sexy men we wanted in the first place? What?

Yeah, you guys won't be laughing when you go to Target to try on this swimsuit and it makes part of your crotch disappear.

Eegads. Had my mother helped plan my wedding it would have been full of things I liked in 1983, because she's never quite grasped the fact that I'm no longer 13.

Double fuck yes.

Daaaamn. I wish I could draw.

The triple X indicates to me that they will also allow me to see these people naked.

See? They're planning someting wonderful for you, too!

Thanks to Jezebel I have so many boyfriends and BFFs I feel like the richest woman alive. I'm sure none of them are returning my calls because they're busy planning something wonderful for me.

Stacy Keibler married her boyf, tech entrepreneur Jared Pobre.

It'll become it's own college course!

British commedian who died in 1998 at age 91. His famous line is, "Take my wife, please!"