<3

As for The Biebs "retiring"…my money's on five months before he comes out of "retirement" because I don't even think he knows what the word means.

Oh for God sake, Joan Rivers, she's not doing the photoshop to herself. She's not sitting in a room somewhere, in front of a computer, cackling while she photoshops her movie posters. Quit being such a stupid dink.

My dad was awake for his knee replacement. Well, part of it. The xanax they gave him to keep him relaxed ended up knocking him out. He was disappointed.

I call bullshit on this story. There's no way Lindy was late and she found space for her bag over her own row. Not unless her seat was all the way in back, because no one wants to put their bags back there, not even the people assigned to those seats.

I'm still four or five books behind on Dresden Files, and an announcement that another one is scheduled to be released. Fun books, Dresden Files.

I have not read that one, but I think my husband has it somewhere. I'm going to find it and add it to the top five of my next read pile. Thanks for the suggestion!

We have to push through and try, right?

Solidarity!

You're right! There's always shit that can buoy my spirits!

I dread reading this book. I feel it's going to be a sharp slap-in-the-face reminder of how shitty a writer I currently am.

Anna Kendrick has no business talking shit about my underwear. She don't know.

She'd tell you, but they vanished without a trace.

Part of me feels like the McSpaghetti would do better if it was simply called "McSkettie".

I bet she eats deep fried veal off the ass of whoever she cheats on her husband with.

Vanity Fair has succeeded on two fronts: Ensuring that I'll continue to never buy one of their magazines, and making me dislike Paltrow more than I did before...because you know she's walking away from this with an ego bigger than ever. I expect she'll create a recipe called Vanity Fair Humble Pie and it will contain…

So this woman enters the record books and doesn't even get her name mentioned, but Diana Nyad gets a shoutout.

Lorde says that if you have even a little talent, you can be famous. So why aren't you famous, hmm? Is something wrong with you, you tremendous not-famous bore? JEEZ.

Naked sleep face. The reason I sleep with my face fully clothed.

What's wrong with you? That t-shirt is incredible and I want it!