I'm currently under a doctor's orders to supplement with B12 because of my anemia, and it's working. Slowly, but it's working. I swear when I feel better I'm going to start eating better so that I don't have to get B12 shots.

Oh. Damn. That's...unexpected.

Everyone knows that God doesn't want to see what He gave you. Cover up, harlots!

So the only thing standing between Jennifer Aniston and happiness is a baby she could have tried to have at any time over the past ten+ years? If only there was some way for an independently wealthy woman to become a mother! This is such a tragedy. All these terrible men in her life preventing her from finding true…

I'm still wondering where Paul Walker met his girlfriend when he was 33 and she was 17.

:D

My mother first heard the word on Black Adder and hasn't stopped using it since.

I'm not fat but am currently trying to recover from a pretty serious bout of B12 anemia from not eating properly in order to maintain my weight. You can make fun of me, because I honestly feel like an idiot.

So my exclamations of "Thanks, Baby Jesus!" while opening presents is oddly accurate in some areas of the world. Nice.

It's like my mom using the word "prezzies" instead of presents. Instant rage-chill up my spine.

Fruitcake. Keeps the Thetans out.

I knew, because there's a wikipedia page listing all the celebrities who are Scientologists and I like looking useless shit up.

YES

The giant caldera underneath Yellowstone is the button that will cause our holographic universe to collapse.

I heard The Beast wants to retire to Del Boca Vista.

I have a better idea. Everyone on the island fights to the death and the survivor gets to be allowed back into the Fairy Lands as the Ultimate Defeater of Evil.

Lava Rolls

I read the whole thing it was so fascinating, and I don't even care about Lisa Frank.

Think of them as my grandparents? Okay, but all of my grandparents were varying degrees of asshole.

I hate that commercial because it's like Swiffer is trying to placate me with their lovely dancing on their super clean floor which Lee had to clean TWICE (once the old way and again the new way).