I'm still smarting from being called a mudfish. Thanks for spitting lemon juice into that wound.

Dang. That's a lot of glitter.

Oh, I see your point.

Okay, but I'm still a real life woman using a male avatar to beat up a prostitute. So...yeah. Sometimes I'm a real life woman using a male avatar to run over a prostitute with my car.

I almost choked on my own tongue.

I have been told by numerous guys that by the time I'm 30, that's it, I no longer have any dating value, and if I want to get married, I will need to just "take what I can get

There's duckface, and then there's...this. What is this called? Jaden Smith does the same thing and I don't understand it. And not understanding it makes me feel old. And some underage twat making me feel old makes me angry.

Solange Knowles makes me feel like I found my entire wardrobe in a ditch somewhere and decided random ditch clothes were a good look for me. I love her.

My mom told me she's not going to run for city council again and she's upset that she can't find a woman to run in her place. Why? Because there are too many stay at home dads. And she thinks it's weird, there's something wrong with those men, and why are those women married to those guys anyway? They're obviously…

Or when no one feels like going to the store.

I'd totally say "vagina" in a mirror three times to have a ghost throw tampons at me. Because hey, free tampons.

Now I'm wondering if I could force my friend's cats to wear scarflets. I'm not a very good knitter so they'd be crooked and hilarious.

I never had an imaginary friend as I was completely fine with being by myself, which caused my popularity-seeking mother endless distress.

Once I got over my initial reaction of "Holy shit, that just happened!" I succumbed to disappointment. Does Silva have some good moves? Yes. Does Silva have exceptional psych-out abilities? Yes. There are reasons why he's been able to hold the title for so long.

50 Cent: I'm a grown ass man boy

"What are you doing later?" = What are you doing later?

This is what we get for convincing Adam to eat that apple and getting our naked butts thrown out of Eden. If we were still there all we'd know is naked and, oddly enough, it would be okay.

Laws: Because of our small women brains we don't understand what's in our uterus at any given time. For all I know there's a garden gnome in mine. Thanks, Scott Walker, for making sure I know it's NOT a garden gnome!

My husband's parents were products of the Depression and saved everything. When we cleaned out his dad's house after he passed we found boxes full of wrapping paper scraps, pens that no longer worked, and empty hotel shampoo and conditioner bottles. He's inherited some of the "just in case" hoarding tendencies which…

Meanwhile, all of Cavill's previous girlfriends and his ex-fiance are wondering how they never existed but at the same time are relieved to not have been the next "Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston."