At the reception:

You are terrible! These aren't disadvantages to unplanned pregnancies, they are your clearly pathological opinion on disadvantages to pregnancy and children in general. I don't mind child-free by choice, but you seem to have problems with 1) children in general and 2) relationships in general. Get therapy or…

I'm a millenial, and when my father got divorced he couldn't clean, cook or do his own laundry because he didn't know how. But millenials are the WORST, amirite? They're clearly the only ones who don't know how to do this stuff.

Can we just discuss for one second as well too how stupid articles that tell college kids to stop drinking are? Sure, of course they should. But college kids are not going to stop drinking. It's like abstinence based education. It's not going to work.

WHO HATES MS. MARBLES? I fucking love her face!!

What are you talking about? Seriously?

I'm blown away by the courage that both she and Daisy have shown. I was so scared for them when I first heard about this, but when I saw that they were doing interviews, I actually felt like they were gonna be okay.

fuck that, i adore the shit out of Jenna. She's awesome and totally keeps it real.

I know, I KNOW, that she is problematic and there are so many things I disagree with, but, Jenna is a part of my generation and sometimes, damnit, I relate to her.

And on top of that!

They are coming. Please do not feed the trolls and drag that crap up from the grey.

"And after he was done, he made me go back out into the living room with him, and we sat and waited until Matt was done with Daisy."

Please Pinterest the crap out of this.

Well done, but you forgot my favorite, (which I made up all by self), I'll Get The Bastards Yet"

I would keep you in business, especially if you printed your screen name onto a shirt I could bestow upon my brother.

My feisty old grandma had signs, not stencils that said things like "There are two choices for dinner. Take it, or leave it." "Don't question your wife's judgment- look who she married." "Speak to me only with thine eyes- until I've had my coffee." "If we all just work together...the result will be total chaos." …

Please, please, please make that "love gems" quote into a wall decal. Priceless and then I'll be slightly misquoting your brilliance on my now blank walls.

I once had a lady on Etsy custom make the following for me in vinyl letters:

I once had a quote of mine misattributed to Hillary Clinton. Thousands of times.