Unlike the prom queen from my high school, getting fat did not make him humble.

To be fair, Tomlin spent a lot of time working as a diagnostician under Dr. House so his medical background would almost require him to speak out on the quack.

It’s not at all being prude. It’s an entirely different scenario if she was never in the sex work business before, there was an understanding that they were monogamous, the one parter objects, and there are kids who don’t know about it.

i dont get it

Must’ve missed that option in my vows

I’m sorry, I need more information about this poor man’s situation before I can offer any assistance.

Those contractors knew what they were signing up for!

If only he’d known TB12 electrolyte water cures asthma.

Six years ago: “Oh yeah, we received notice Albert had some recent problems with his foot, but it’s probably nothing...”

“I told all you fuckers”

Never seen anyone use Christian Science Monitor as a verb before

@donovanjmcnabb Who wants to CUM with me to see my attorney?

I emancipate myself every night.

I mean, LiAngelo is an adult, and had a scholarship to UCLA...his dad can’t actually pull him out unilaterally. Why is he going along with this idiocy? But please do save LaMelo pro bono.

I hope the agent enjoys his ten percent off these contracts. And that he does not smoke all the cigs in one day.

In this case, shouldn’t Jeter be receiving the basket, figuratively?

Which is a much, MUCH higher standard than Trump holds himself to. Trump tells crazy lies on Twitter and in person just about every day, but he’s calling for Weigel to be fired for an honest mistake on his personal account? Ridiculous. Insane. Dangerous. Classic Trump.

It’s... not.

I’d have to say the one where the system fails like we all know, and helps the ones that have nothing but still willingly give that nothing to help someone they don’t know.

I was expecting something other than a series of blurry photos.