I know humor is valued and appreciated here, but stories where autistic children are terrorized make me insanely angry. I try not to wish harm upon others, but I hope those two cruel teens get what's coming to them.

I go to lunch still carrying this load, which is now drying out. After eating, I am off to the bathroom to clean it up...

I have a bigger issue with a massive amount of pubes at a urinal than one that hasn't been flushed.

How does one upper-deck a urinal?

Young people are funny. You had no idea it was a television show? Did you just think it was like a Hooter's style restaurant?

NBA: This is too sexy

Seriously, I was at 13 inches when I started commenting on the Internet for the first time. I'm up to 20 now.

"Why pretend he was blind?"

When I was a kid, like age 10-15, I used to tell people I had no sense of smell. That was kinda based on a lot of allergies that left me permanently stopped up for a while (and what I later found out was a deviated septum), but it eventually turned into my random weird thing people knew…

Nobody fucks with Colonel Sanders.

round of applause for everyone recording this in landscape!

Why do women have to scream like they just saw a thousand newborns thrown into an incinerator everytime someone throws a punch? Relax ladies, no one's going to die. Probably.

I don't know these people at all. I'm sure they're good people. They did a bad thing. Their tailgating power is destroyed. That's a big thing.

"El Paso" is definitely not Spanish for "a salad for lunch and a sensible dinner".

The arrested Texas Tech fans will have the book thrown at them. The UTEP fans, however, will be charged as miners.

Ray Lewis: There is no comparison of me and Ray Rice. I'm far more similar to Aaron Hernandez.

Are you seeing small creatures shaped like toilet plungers? Is there a stripper named Montana in a cage with you?

Welcome to Kinja, Mr. Goodell.

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,

Baltimore: [cuts Rice]

If they want to save face then they maintain the story that they hadn't seen the video until it leaked today and extend the suspension to a minimum 8 games because of "new" evidence.