When I was in 7th grade, I tried to pitch my memoir to my English Composition teacher. She bluntly told me that anyone who writes a memoir under the age of 65 is a charlatan. Not only was I not to write a memoir, I was to avoid anyone who was writing one without due cause like they had an infectious disease.

lol

There were no survivors.

He likely saved taxpayers tens of thousands of dollars, and was arrested for his effort.

That is, if there is a Game 3 now.

My dad’s soundtrack would be a lot of Pink Floyd, Steely Dan, Yes, Rolling Stones, Queen, Traffic, Jefferson Airplane AND Starship, Prince, Chicago, Bob Dylan, Traveling Wilburys, Tom Petty, Genesis, weird covers of classical music on Moog synthesizers, and a lot of jazz.

“Despise” seems a bit strong. Did he fuck a child or something?

Tom, I like you but cool it with the exclamation points

So what’s the end game here? Say Brady gets the suspension reduced to 2 games and says fuck you, I’m innocent. Does he have any further recourse at that point? And what about the Patriots, do they take the unprecedented step of suing the league? Can they do that? I need input from all you Pre-Law and Pre-Med…

Someone has to tranquilize him, and then a crew of four does it in two hours.

For as much as deadspin rips on Simmons, they just jack his “playoff Wittman” saying?

So it’s worse than beating your wife, but not as bad as beating your wife but being caught on tape.

Counterpoint (not that I disagree with anything here): If your writing strongly appeals to readers ages 18-25, and no one older than that, that does not automatically make you a shitty writer.

Well, there goes my whole “Simmons to Deadspin” wish.

And also, fuck fake tough guy Dwight Howard.

Looks like Scottie got the assist.

The NBA is obviously rigged against the small-market Bulls.

Awesome. The fact it’s live is extremely impressive.

There was nothing newsworthy about that game (Austin Rivers didn’t fall down).