...and then he proceeds to pound the strike zone and make a bunch of elite hitters look helpless.

As a Ranger fan, I'm on a sad-level up there with our Game 6 loss, watching Nap and Koji celebrate together.

I'm a Orioles fan and have a deep seated hatred towards the Red Sox, but this is completely unacceptable. Hopefully the deadspin mods will have enough decency to have your highly offensive posting removed. I know this I a comedic website but there is nothing funny about being maimed in an attack. So what if the Red…

I don't get it. What did I just watch?

I can't tell you what he'll do, but I can damn sure tell you that if it were me, I'd hang that shit up and walk away. 12 hours as a quad is 12 hours too long.

Very nice troll headline, Barry. So I guess now we're going to refer to penalties as "cheating"?

the most likely scenario sees the Titans being put up for sale.

I hope it's not health related. As a Sox fan I can honestly say he was one of the reasons I was afraid of the Tigers. He's a great manager who is not afraid to throw the book out the window to win.

This doesn't bother me, since I have kissed girls.

I also heard Cardinals fans make better lovers than Dodgers fans because they get so much practice on themselves.

Wow. LeBron really will say just about anything to stir shit up in this league that nobody outside of LA and Miami gives a flying fuck about, huh?

To protest the football staff's tyranny, players are not giving 110% at practice, not dressing up on game day, and are going to class.

Correct, with direct submission to you, World's Biggest D-Bag.

Me too.

A 35-year-old upper middle class dad in an MGMT t-shirt.

You know, a good Dodgers mascot would have evaded capture.

Absolutely one of the greatest posts in Deadspin history. Screw the Cardinals and their hypocrisy.

...okay.

Oh, you're right. I guess I've been so (rightfully) dismissive of the general value of a college degree that I've never even encountered a situation where I've even had to use the word or considered it (though I'd like to just say it was the "royal we" that my phone's autocomplete was leading me toward). You learn…

As an Iowa Alumni, I'm almost proud that someone is capable of holding up the "#1 Party School" reputation all by herself, but as a liberal arts major who served his dues in clandestine parties, I'm a bit ashamed that it's always something blase as alcohol that helps bolster the whole "party school" reputation.