"Here's the problem, Dave...you were using your arms. That's a complete waste of energy in your line of work."

I don't think Facebook lets you call it "Scraople" anymore.

Shoulda stopped that snitchin', Double Stuff.

Just think, Sorgi...if Peyton Manning gets injured in the first game of next season, you, too, can lead your team to an 11-5 record and not make the playoffs.

Harold Reynolds finds this kind of behavior to be perfectly appropriate.

It actually seems like a harmless joke out of context, but then when you watch it transpire, it's unpleasant.

You think you hated Manny when he was in a Red Sox uniform, Yankee fans? Wait until year three of this hypothetical contract.

@SabathiasTurkeyPants: That's the same question my uncle asked me when he was dropping me off at college.

He will look markedly—and inexplicably—different in a couple of years, when he's roommates with his high school friend's cousin.

@Father of 2 Future First Rounders: "Saliva" and a football thing.

The league's been on the rocks ever since Billy Blanks went on that murder-touchdown-suicide rampage in the middle of a game. (That was the AFL, right?)

Remember that time I posted a comment in the guise of a "Family Guy" fan?

Matt Forte is "The Falconer".

"Pour Some Sugar on Me" is a song by Def Leppard.

Sean Avery ought to move into the greeting card business.

Today's video games don't take the time to include non-interactive training montages, and it's a crying shame.

I once wrote a blog post explicitly detailing my desire to dress up like a priest, dress Wojnarowski up like a rabbi, and then compete with him to win the affections of Jenna Elfman.

@Adam Duritz: First you steal my song "Raining in Baltimore", now this?

Give me your wallet.

"I was drunk, horny and, like Offspring, ready to go."