"Football Team"

In all fairness, Shockey deserves his Super Bowl XLII ring as much as Eli Manning does his.

@Threat Level: Midnight: Perhaps you were, before you revealed that you watch "Scrubs".

Your real name is "Blogger: Error Performing Your Request"?

Most NFL athletes are revered for their mathematical abilities.

When this incident occurred the Red Sox were leading the series against the Yankees 2-0. What would these goons have done had the encounter taken place two nights later—murdered one of the kids?

John McEnroe has obviously never seen me play Wii Tennis.

That was racist.

This story made me want to murder a sub sandwich.

Breaking down the percentages in that photograph, the thrill of knocking over a flower pot apparently pales in comparison to the excitement of watching someone else do it.

I only wish that Ray Allen had starred in a feature film as a talented basketball player and that the very title of the film was complimentary toward the ability of said player so that I could now call upon that film title in reference to Ray Allen's performance tonight. Oh, well.

In Russia, 20 points scores you!

@Max Power: Why would you point the fact that I don't know what the hell I'm talking about, when all I was trying to do was make myself look clever at someone else's expense?

@metroville: *sigh*...your technological ineptitude makes Baby Jesus cry.

"...the first two home games are absolutely critical for the Celtics. If they lose one, it's highly doubtful they'll ever make it back to Beantown."

@The Fan's Attic: ...goalies and the Gillette Corporation.

Either you're a drug-addicted, hooker-banging child-murderer, or you're with Jesus.

I would only watch golf if I were aware of the subjunctive mood.

That was one thing, second thing. Third thing.

One, please.