I didn't put electrical in there because that stuff can kill you, especially if you think you know more than you really do.

Basic Home Care Skills. Painting, patching drywall, fixing linoleum, removing stains. The simple kind of stuff that can get a security deposit back.

Basic Nutritional Cookery. How to make simple, healthy meals for under $8.

When I go steak shopping, I spend more time selecting our steak than I do actually cooking it. Anything over 5 minutes for both sides is dog food. And don't get me started on the horrible people who SEAR their steak! Why don't you just eat the damn charcoal?

I want a shirt or bumper sticker that says "I was spanked and I turned out to have bizarre, shameful fetishes"

Listen people, I grew up in Baltimore. I have forgotten more about how to cook and eat crabs than all of you will ever known.

Here in Baltimore it is. And it is FANTASTIC!

Eating sushi is just wrong to begin with, so maybe try some good food. A nice soft shell crab and mustard sandwich is always nice.

Close, but he needs more swagger. Err, swagga. Right? Swagga?

This is some betabullshit. REAL MEN ALPHAS just walk, and the door gets out of the way, one way or another.

So this is like a sci-fi Dynasty Warriors? I can never get enough Dynasty Warriors. Seriously, I think I have a problem. Please send help.

I painted, sheared, and adorned one so that she became the Arch-Lich big bad evil guy in the DnD campaign we ran from the time we were 8 to the time we were 12.

The venue needs to change the story. This isn't a cleaning lady throwing out expensive art. It is in fact a performance art piece entitled "A Good Start: A Lower Class Critique of Contemporary Art".

JESUS IS COMING, GET READY FOR THE MONEY SHOT!

Best get used to it, this is the Fimbulwinter. We tried to stop it, but all the hippies were like "No, global warming is bad!" and got the politicians behind them.

That fact that she referred to Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo without including the whole title proves that Hillary is in the wrong on this one.

I will gladly pay money to end the horror that is the money shot.

Seriously, fuck raccoons. Pieces of shit.

Oh my god, this woman has FOLDS! WHO WAS ON PHOTOSHOP WATCH?? It is simply unacceptable that this passed the censors.

Finding out that a woman reads Cosmo is reason enough for me to dump her.

If I am standing at a concert and not moshing, I am probably dead and propped up by the crush at the front.