I met Bruce Campbell at a con once, and he told me that I have the best chin he had ever seen outside of a mirror. So, you, that happened. Ladies...

Oddly enough, the only sex ed thing I got that was weird was that women will never, ever enjoy receiving oral sex, so don't even bother. If she does, she is either broken or a lesbian. Male teacher, of course.

Oh man does that kid have hell of a power stride. Just look at his wee walking.

Why is everyone all of a sudden spelling Lordi with an -e? And who is the girl in the header image?

Maleficent was my first ever crush. I find Angelina Jolie off putting and unattractive. What am I to do!?!?!

Are you pro- or anti-moshing at shows? Also, are you aware of how much you look like Brittney Hayes from Unleash the Archers in that last photo in the article?

Ace Of Base is Swedish, instantly making them more metal than most other bands, just by association.

What sub-genres of metal do you think benefit the most from female vocalists? I know how common they are in symphonic metal, and some power metal bands (though to be fair, even the male vocalists sound like they are castrati)?

Wait, you are claiming that DORO isn't a big name in metal? So you actually no nothing at all about metal and are just kind of a dick.

No question, but I live in Baltimore and have seen you guys live. Killer show! \m/

My son is legally named Darth Conan. We call him DC for short. My daughter is Lillith Bouddica, and she insists on Lillith.

Oh man, is my generation finally getting tired of paying money to advertise companies? Can that finally happen?

Like almost all of the important questions in life, "What should music I exercise to?" is best answered by Ensiferum.

Gearworld: The Borderlands

This kid's face is begging for some knuckle prints.

This got me excited for the PC release, then I remember that we finally deigned to allow those console plebes to use our internet a while back.

I think that race and gender issues are very important, but does that interview the very sudden attack of giantheaditis she must be suffering from now? I mean, it is covering over 2/3 of her shoulders!

If God wanted us to eat salad, He would have given us a way to tell that plants do feel pain.

You can have my hyper-violent murder simulators when you pry them from my cold dead fingers.

The movie is going to consist of kids from this world getting sucked into the video game, where they all learn a lesson about how the outsider nerd is the one best suited for this new world before coming together as friends.