What are the odds of BOTH parents dying at once? Even if something that awful DID happen, you’d have the perfect sitcom pitch. “What happens when two selfish MILLENIALS have to care for seven grief-stricken orphans? HILARITY! That’s what.”

The lowest point of his life was in January 2008.

So moral of the story is don’t get drafted by the Knicks?

I think they meant real sports.

kind of has a better joker face than leto.

“She even started saving for gender reassignment surgery at the age of five.”

I enjoyed this excerpt from the upcoming book Shit My Nerd Says.

it’s proven that she might not Bill Clinton’s biological daughter.

Why is that a dumb trade? McCallum’s OK enough, but he’s nothing special. He’s their... what, third-string point guard? Fourth? If he doesn’t get waived outright, he’s gonna rack up maybe 4 minutes a game and a bunch of DNP-CDs. Getting any kind of value for him is a positive.

Holy shit dude we get it. Your shtick is to constantly mock the mls. Get the fuck over it. Shit is so old and the league has actually been pretty fun this year. Some more big names, including the two big Mexican targets is a good thing.

Visiting hours were over at 4 p.m. and Coughlin showed up at 3:45 p.m., which technically made him late.

Visiting hours didn’t begin until 4 PM and Tom Coughlin needed to get to bed

Might have been their formation, but not their mindset.

Literally no one does this because no one dreams of being a punter.

... reading Penthouse Letters. I plug up one hole in the dyke, another one busts open.

some buy a 1990 gt-r to fit the hipster image

May I ask you why you chose the owl plates for your CR-V instead of one of the other designs?

traveling

Looks like there are race relations problems in France too.