Obligatory:

You absolutely need to worry about extended contact with our staph.

For your information, he was going to sell that ball to help pay for that boat to go to college.

Yeah, seems terrible that a boat owner, eating at a fancy restaurant nearby may be out of of a free batted baseball. Lets start a GoFundMe.

I hope the guy who owns a boat finally catches a lucky break here.

John Urschel has an Erdős number of 4! That is higher than vast majority of mathematicians at major universities. The (arguably) two most famous mathematicians of our generation, Andrew Wiles (Fermat’s Last Theorem) and Grigori Perelman (Poincare Conjecture), have an Erdős number of 3. Sometimes the truth really is…

God, that sounds boring. Lets never do that.

I guess I had this mas idea you’d just use the pseudonym I already employ as an email/ handle for this site, unless you’re in the habit of crafting double secret pseudonyms for people who don’t want their Kinja identities associated with restaurant shenanigans.

I’m not trying to troll this story in any way, but does it bother anyone that this guy has never been convicted of anything..yes, the university handled this completely improperly, but smoke doesn’t always mean fire. Please keep in mind I’m not trying to defend this guy, but I do feel we’re crossing a line here in…

I really wish I had enough submissions to do a “Customers Who Think They’re So Goddamn Clever.”

Goddammit. I have to pay better attention. ‘Cause I had one for this column, too.

No. If he tries to stand up for the new guy—a guy he doesn’t even know—suddenly he’s going to be the one to get shit on. He doesn’t have any power in this scenario; he’s not a manager, he’s a low-rung employee barely above the guy who’s just been hired. Additionally, you don’t know how badly he needs the money that…

fuck you - they raised over a million dollars doing this - what have you done for children mr internet commenter?

They’re actually both raising almost a million dollars for children together, but yeah this is deadspin so racism rules!

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What’s the point of even talking about this? We all Goodell is only going to suspend Mayweather two games unless there’s video evidence.

This is bullshit. If this were really true, colleges and universities would be falling all over themselves to add athletic programs for women and men alike (since nothing about this analysis is unique to women or women’s sports). But, in general, they don’t, because it doesn’t make financial sense.

This is by far the most interesting failure to differentiate correlation and causation that I have ever read.

Also the Tom they were talking about is Thomas Paine. They are real Patriots after all.

My guess is they were going to intentionally walk to batter to set up a force at every base with 2 outs. They wanted to position an extra fielder behind the catcher in case of a very poor intentional ball?