He was "The Bird," not Birdman.

"He probably shouldn't have taken his brother's bike."

Ugh, some of these employees have so much attitude. If you're unwilling to do things just because they're logically impossible, maybe customer service isn't for you.

obligatory defense of the stupid customer: CoffeeMate has an "Irish coffee" flavor; lady probably didn't know that it existed in an alcoholic form. I don't think the alcoholic Irish Coffees are that popular in general?

WOW, IT SURE SUCKS WHEN YOU'RE ON CAMERA AND NOT EXPECTING IT, HUH BILL?????

If you live multiple floors up in an apartment building and your car is parked outside in the vast parking lot below it can come in really handy.

Yeah hi, like... 2002 called, it wants its discovery of new things back.

"I don't see the issue here."

He was a two-sport guy in college, right? I swear I saw his name come up in the East-West Bowl.

Wait, you had to choose between being a partner at a law firm and contributing to Deadspin?

I can't wait to see the ratings when the USMNT is scheduled to play in a time slot that overlaps with the NFL.

The ant would fall apart at that size scale. There's a reason exoskeletons aren't seen on creatures larger than a small bird, and that reason is physics.

To hurt your feelings.

Not to defend Gilbert in any way, but the "predatory loans" jab, while true, was unnecessary in relation to the story. I can see why that would raise some ire, and why someone in charge would want it removed.

"This isn't the way it happened at all!"

Kobe has a story about how he almost got drowned by a shark.

Browns Owner: What's with these pre-draft shenanigans I'm hearing about Kevin? It's getting some people in the league pretty upset.

Terrell Suggs tried to sell his tickets at face value which made the price plummet.

Congrats on not reading the article.

Are you saying Japan is exactly like Fast and Furious, Tokyo Drift? Please say yes!