I have thought for years that I might want to again. A really good fellow 40 something friend of mine did a while back, had a heart issue that had to be monitored for about 2 weeks, and now has trouble expressing coherent thoughts. He says “I fried my brain.” It must have been bad stuff, but I think I will just be…

My niece has a habit of kind of getting on a roll and speaking very loudly and quickly, and I just keep softly and slowly remind her to “use your inside voice.” Or “library voice.” I think by saying it to her softly, it makes her realize that if she can hear me, then I can hear her. It seems to help.

“Down in front, ninja turtle."

On a side note, I get the feeling Hugh Freeze did not know about the payments. No power five head coach could possibly be THAT damn stupid.

Thanks to Twitter, I just drunkenly fisted myself out of a shit ton of money in my settlement from my no-merit lawsuit for “emotional distress” against my stepson. Oh, wait, fuck!

Superfund to the rescue!

Great. You’ve ruined the NFL too, assholes.

Don’t worry, the pages where Captain George Weymouth shoots his fire-stick in the air surprising Squanto are being removed from the books. It’s offensive now.

I don’t see why Bill lost custody of his children. I bet he was an awesome dad.

Nah.

When I see him I will never not think about him getting BJ’s in the Oval Office. Surely every President since has thought about it while sitting at their desk.

“Where I saved Lois Lane from the earthquake.”

Dwight would like to share the message of his bracelet.

Does anyone actually make a poster? Tired description, but still not as dumb as “broke his ankles.”

I feel you.

His poor sister Anita.

I drink socially. One of my best friends does not. I have never asked him why. Not once. That is his thing and his decision. And it’s great because when we go somewhere he drives. And he is funnier than most drinkers I know, so why should I care if he doesn’t? He actually makes me want to drink less, because I don’t…

Nice touch adding the little steak and dogs mid-morning snack for Christie.

Also a NASCAR and Bernie fan here. Most NASCAR fans are happy that you and others believe the stereotypes. It keeps you away from the tracks.