I’m making corn and black bean salsa and slow cooker meatballs. My boyfriend is making pot stickers and pigs in a blanket. Friends are bringing a veggie tray.

I feel certain that my girl Chicken, who’s kind of a tuxedo but really more of a bat cat, could win any show given the chance. Not because she has like the perfect proportions or whatever, but because she’s fucking hilarious and incredibly personable.

Obviously my boyfriend is not a little boy, but right off the bat, I noticed how sweet he was with animals, and animals LOVE HIM. Our animals, other people’s animals, they are all drawn to my boyfriend and it makes me feel like they can see that he is a good, kind person.

This would be my only negative about a cat show. Like, none of the cats would look like my adorable shitbags, all of which were found as stray kittens. One was literally found in the garbage, and another was found eating garbage, so basically I have the least fancy cats ever.

I always wonder if my cat Maeby has a little Oriental cat breed in her lineage, because she does not shut the fuck up ever. She is beautiful and she has the most beautiful, bright aqua-green eyes I’ve ever seen on a cat, but holy shit is she loud. And I do lots of dedicated play time with her and they have all kinds…

HOW HAVE I NEVER BEEN TO A CAT SHOW. I fucking love cats so much, I have three and would get more if my boyfriend would let me (even though the third one was actually his fault), and there’s nothing funnier than watching a cat “perform”.

As I type this, my cat Chicken is licking my face and head, plus she’s small enough to keep indoors and I don’t have to walk her (we have lots and lots of toys for the cats to climb and play, and there are three of them to keep each other busy). So, cats are awesome and funny and really fucking convenient.

God, I was OBSESSED with tube tops in the aughts. I had so many, and I had the tiniest boobs (which I didn’t actually mind because I prefer the boobless look).

Your pants were the yin to my pants’s yang! Before I even scrolled down to the picture of Britney, as soon as I read “pink newsboy,” I knew exactly what photo would accompany the text. It was a simpler time.

I have no idea. I mean, I would assume that a thin, conventionally pretty blonde girl with the budget to afford the cool clothes would be some crazy outcast, but I am not terribly familiar with the Taylor Swift Canon.

I cried every time I went jean shopping from about age 11 through to like age 16. I hit 5'10" at 14, and nothing ever looked right and god, the tears I spilled in the dressing rooms of The Gap. My poor mother.

I went to an N’Sync concert when I was like 14 or 15 in a floral print spaghetti strap top that laced all the way up the back (no bra! but then, I also had no boobs), and I feel quite certain that it was from Wet Seal or Contempo Casuals. I felt SO COOL, notwithstanding the fact that my mom accompanied my best friend…

Lindsay Lohan grew up on Long Island. Taylor Swift grew up in Pennsylvania and Tennessee, and yes, Swifty’s parents are rich.

Not enough glitter. Also, Everytime makes me sad. I’m sorry Brit Brit, we should have been listening to you better.

When it comes to videos about famous people problems, give me Lucky by Britney Spears, or give me nothing. Everything else can GTFO.

Where are you and how can I join you?

I’m in a red state (that is in the process of turning purple), and I sure as shit didn’t vote for this psychopathic moron.

Yeah, I’m not moving on. I will say, I was at a budget and policy conference today (for my state), and there was a speaker there from a national budget and policy organization, she gave some tangible glimmers of hope and also reassured me that there are knowledgable and well connected people fighting back on the…

Right? I really, really hoped the sheers would finally go out this season. Goddamnit. You lose so much of the lines of the garment and the workmanship with the stupid sheer distraction bullshit.

I work for a non-profit that receives public and private dollars. During the recession, my organization had to fight tooth and nail to keep our state appropriation, and a lot of our network organizations at the local level had to rely on dollars from ARRA to stay afloat and keep working. The economy is def going to…