But not as much of a choice as breeding and trying to force the rest of the world to accommodate your irresponsibility.

I think it was just an assumed title, because he wore English Leather, or he wore nothing at all.

I hope you don’t pass that selfish attitude on to your children. :(

I’m sure the airline will compensate you if something happens to your baby in its crate. Maybe miles, or a free upgrade to First Class!

Sometimes you have to turn off the caps lock key before you look like a raving loon, too.

Yes, she should damn well wait.

That’s why the crate in cargo is such a good idea, because it doesn’t matter how much noise they make, they won’t be bothering anyone but random machinery and pets.

I am distressed about how much I agree with your articles lately. >:(

But her Windsong stays on your mind.

Yes. Yes, I am. STAY HOME.

People with babies don’t need to travel. Ever.

No, she’s right. I was being absolutely serious.

I didn’t say they couldn’t have toys and a water bottle in the crate, Violet. I’m not a monster.

That shut-in thing would be so awesome. People should look into that.

“Having a child doesn’t mean you have to stop living your life and limiting where you go...”

Actually, that’s exactly what it means. Having a child means changing your lifestyle significantly.

I think the kid should be in a pressurized crate in the cargo hold, personally.

Yeah, that whole “if there’s not enough room under your seat for my kid and your backpack, TOO BAD” just reeks of entitlement.

This? This shit right here? Is exactly why people hate you, sanctimonious mombies. I always wondered what the thought processes were of those idiot parents who let their kids run screaming through the restaurant and finger paint the tabletops with the condiments, but now I wonder no more.

It is a known fact that sports fans are the dumbest, most tunnel-visioned creatures on the planet when it comes to their particular favorite sport/team. The most heinous human rights abuses will slide right past the average soccer fan without even a ping on their RADAR.

Kirstie Alley IS too good for the Real Housewives. As much as it pains me to say it, the goddamn Kardashians are too good for the Real Housewives.

I used to ironically say I was a better person than people who watch the Real Housewives because I have no idea who these people are, but now when I say it, I’m in deadly earnest.