I got more road rash from falling off a bike with training wheels. Then my Mom took us to the beach the next day because “Saltwater is good for wounds”. I was then rolled end over end by a big wave and scraped up my side again on the sandy sea bed. I’m not sure how I survived the 1970s.

So, is she the (single) Mother... ... ... of Dragons?

All this time with Ted Cruz has apparently taught us nothing.

The one American in the British Royal Family had declined to meet the president. That says it all.

Except that’s not what is at issue here. The issue is that swaths of Democratic voters have mentally eliminated people Sanders or Warren from contention because of some misguided idea about “electability.”

Electability is a developing code word for “no women; no blacks, no gays; no socialists.”

Fuck this concept in the ear with the sharpest dick. Same goes for Alyssa Milano’s hot take.

“A Florida man was arrested today” = Redundant 

It’s not broken. Broken is when you had something that worked well and was purposefully designed and no longer works. Broken suggests that we need to fix what we have and not switch to something else entirely.

Honestly, the US seems like it’s all the fucking Wild West and a terrifying, exhausting place to live. I can’t imagine not tipping someone who’s making baseline less than $3 for an hour of work, but tbh I don’t think I could eat at all knowing the server was making that. That’s gross. And then all the shit about…

I’m just here to share the greatest clap-back in the universe:

Mine is Raspberry Smirnoff. I went to a party once, at least 15 years ago now, where I thought it was a great idea to play Asshole with Raspberry vida & soda. I was asshole quite a bit too.... I still have a hard time even just smelling anything raspberry flavored 

My younger sister insists to this day that her high school friend’s brother is institutionalized because he believes he is “living inside a grape,” due to a bad trip.

today is our six year anniversary with our girl

Seems Dr. Sanderson experienced an unconscious coupling.

Admins, this person has doxxed me!

The 40+ hour work week is ridiculous and it’s time it was abolished.