I wanted one of these so bad as a kid, and my parents wouldn't get it for me because they thought it was a stupid fad toy. Well, JOKE'S ON YOU MOM AND DAD. Puppy surprise is back and now I'm a 30-year-old with a salary and an unknown number of baby puppy-sized holes in my heart.

I just want to give them all hugs.

Looks like Bobo is a nogo, his dating prowess is soso, seems like just another dudebro.

Maybe I'm just too damn progressive, but #6 makes me question whether this is real. I have never been asked by someone I was dating how many people I have had sex with. And more than three is unacceptable? Really? We're still doing that?

omg every reason is it's own little world of WTFness, like a box of bizarre-stuffed truffles

"In my opinion, it's better a week too early than a day too late. " Thank you. I put my dog down when she was falling and could not get up and I second-guess that decision all the time (crying right now). She struggled so hard during the euthanasia that it ripped my heart out and I had horrible dreams of her in pain…

My mom has always erred on the side of putting a pet down too soon (vs. too late) because she is terrified of allowing her pets to linger in pain. She also believes that pets tend to hide pain from us for as long as possible (because an animal will instinctively hide signs of weakness, to protect itself from…

I definitely get to have an opinion about a friend who would post pics on Facebook of her baby crowning in her vagina. But of course, my opinion centers around her poor social media skills, not her birth.

Horse faces are simply the best. Especially when they flip their upper lip and give you the crazy eyes; it's impossible to not laugh. What kind of horse did you have?

I get to not deal with children AND be lazier? WIN.

If diminished productivity is the downside of remaining childless, I accept.

My platform at 18:

Might be an unpopular opinion, but I don't think 18 year olds should be eligible to serve as state legislators. The idea of 18-year-old me (with all of the crazy and stupid shit I used to believe at that age) having serious decision making authority over people's lives makes me shudder. We have age requirements for…

I have always said I can't worship the god people try to sell me. He is a fucking brat. And an asshole. A vain, horrible asshole. Why would I worship that? How can anyone?*

Well, I'm making hay while the sun shines, which is to say I'm using my disease to score cheap political points against people I disagree with, so it's not like it's all bad.

Ugh, these people...if God has a plan, it's a pretty fucking shitty one that kills children and newlyweds with terminal cancer all willy-nilly. If God is real, he's an asshole.

seconded.

If they really care so much about Brittany's life and how it ended, how about they donate some of their hoards of cash that go towards maintaining their giant palaces and gold-threaded robes to cancer research? Fuckers.

"oozy dickberet"

"Female" does this, "Female" does that. You'd be the gynecist, you fucking moron, if you weren't a sphyncterist. Women are not just sexual difference on two legs, you oozy dickberet. God this is pissing me off.