Cheese Nips!

Push ups are only dishonest if you think everyone has a right to know your bust size.

Opinion: The Sound of Music is a mediocre musical and the film version is overrated to the highest degree.

It looks like a screen cap from Idiocracy. Wonder if La Chapelle is a fan?

Angela Lansbury.

People seriously need to know the difference between racist and ignorant.

It seems like they are! Maybe it's just supply and demand? In that case we know what to do. BUY UP ALL OF THE CARDBOARD TAMPONS!

Am I the only one who initially though Baby North's Album meant that the infant had put out a Music Album of hit baby songs? I mean, I wouldn't put it past her parents, but . . .

This concept isn't that new. Behold the most ambitious shampoo commercial ever. These kinds of commercials are common in Korea and other places as well.

Many years ago, in High School, I was dating this girl and we had a huge fight over something very minor. She took off angry and her mother was like "I think you need to relax. We should smoke some pot." She had the pot, but no pipe so I suggested we smoke from an apple pipe. Everyone knows apple pipes I thought. She…

If you're ever in a pinch, the new recipe Burger King french fries have the right outer consistency to hollow out and make into an edible one-hitter.

I hope I don't think of him the next time I wipe my butt. Ew.

Cardboard tampons are way better than pearl. I don't know why they're phasing them out. Flushable, biodegradable, AND they hold waaay more. Whats not to love? (Maybe hiding it in your bra on a hot day and having it do it's job with sweat...)

Why should I listen to the coroner? I have it on good authority that he is a virgin, who can't even drive.

So Derek Jeter is just the real-life version of Steve Holt.

I remember that time I read the "IT HURTS LIKE SATAN" Story about a groupie and Jared Leto. Look for it, it is priceless!

where's the romper party where we drop acid and shop for kites?

Oh Jesus, that picture of Gwyneth. I keep expecting her to fade back into the darkness with that dead stare. Nightmare fuel.

This would be perfect for when I'm lying on the couch Netflixing and don't want to sit up straight to drink from my wine glass.

It's like a magic pumpkin, but sadder... Eventually the wine is gone and your flat-chested again and the spell is broken.