Next time they're doing it in style.

I'm not going to admit to having sporked a few people in my day...

So... don't be thankful that people weren't killed? I don't understand the point you're trying to make.

Uh... do you have anything to back that up? 'Cause I'm pretty sure that's not true.

My friend and I were discussing that this morning; our first thought was "thank God the kid didn't have a gun."

He's mine, too. Don't tell me though, because when I find out I'm going to be extremely bitchy and needlessly petty about the whole thing.

Thanks, Obama!

I think we can all agree that Russian-Armenian miscegenation is the root of all evil. I mean, good God, who wants to see Armenian man-nose on a little girl? Thank you, extremely-limited-worldview-Barbie, for giving voice to the downtrodden.

See, "Abortion does not compute with my philosophy" would be just fine as long she understood that her personal philosophy has fuck all to do with whether or not a medical procedure should be legal, but I'm guessing that's not the case. I mean, hell, vaginoplasty and Botox don't "compute with my philosophy," but I'm…

Can we one-star an author's entire body of work? Because I kind of want to one-star Jane Austen for writing books that make me want to *cry* with boredom. I tried, you guys, I really tried. BUT NOTHING FUCKING HAPPENS EVER. I tried Pride and Prejudice three times and I think I couldn't get past page 100, because every…

But... It's Vogue's annual 'Shape' issue? They have several profiles of accomplished women of various builds and statures, so it fits with the theme. It's an essay about an accomplished woman who wrote an essay taking the fashion industry to task for failing women who were built outside the very narrow norms of the…

especially if he's in Wilton Manors, yo.

Maybe The Lord Jesus Christ is many men, who share a collective intelligence, and exist as though each individual were simply a part of a larger organism.

Well, technically two men and whatever gender the Holy Ghost is.

I think he kept it old school with good old fashioned child molestation

I'm giving 3-1 odds on gay sex.

Having a shitty father would be a lot worse than no father. So while for you not having a father might have sucked, many people would say having a bad father was the absolute worse. Also some people have two mothers, some have two fathers, some are raised by grandparents, some lose their parent at a young age, shit…

Because IVF is totally a spur of the moment impulse buy, right?

Let me try one...