There are those who will read this and think “Why, yes, I do want this con man to head our country, because we’ll be the beneficiaries of his grifts and swindles” without realizing that they’re the ones being swindled.

Not everyone saw it. Rob didn’t see it.

“These are the healthiest players ever.”

What do you think this is, deadspin or something?

Just a reminder of some of the things that have happened since Rae Carruth’s arrest and conviction:

That statue could be either presidential candidate in the back of the truck from the physique profile.

If you think that’s cool you should see the newspaper throw tricks David Carr does at 3 AM every day. Legend.

All I can think about is that slo-mo vibration of his leg when the Achilles snapped and all that energy was released...ugh.

It’s all fun and games until your Astroglide leaks in your carry-on bag and gets all over your work Blackberry. And then having to take said Blackberry to your IT guy and explain what caused it to stop working.

Someone just found their fantasy football team name

That is the least tempting food item I’ve ever heard described. Throw that crap in the toilet and let Liam wipe the rim with his disgusting sock.

I’m not saying Trump isn’t racist! I’m just saying it’s a sad time in history now that racism is generally considered a bad thing.

They key aspect of the bottom pockets of cargo shorts: your phone will not slide out and clatter on the ground every time you sit down. Thus, the bottom pocket gets 100% of my phone-carrying time, making it useful even if you travel light.

Cargo Shorts or GTFO. I'm too old to worry about impressing anyone.

Oh great, jellyfish have learned how to post internet comments.

This is the least fun thing anyone has ever said.

If the invaders somehow make it snow like a quarter inch, DC will self destruct all by itself.

Empowered with the knowledge I’ve gained in this article, I have decided that the job opportunity you have offered is just not the right decision for me at this time.

It’s not even weird for Japan.

Do you know how hard it is to schlep out a sound system, mood lighting, and a Lionel Ritchie album to the savannah?