Reads (drools)

Yeah and this supermodel I’m dating has funny looking knees. OUT WITH HER AND THE ‘VETTE.

It aged far better than I did. I loved it then and I would KILL to rock that whale tail right now.

was that you in the bagel store?

My kids have never slept in our bed. Best set of boundaries ever. Enforce this rule with every fiber of your parenting being. 

Somewhere, Jay Buhner kicks his feet up, arms crossed, and sighs “not all of them were bad trades”

called it. BANK

The 1927 Yankees of names. 

I’m here for Jizyah Shorts.

Thanks for saying this. I read it exactly the same way. Totally racist-y code crap.

My team thinks Eli is the Future. 

THIS ^^^^

You need AWD, being out in Utah, no? If so, I enthusiastically recommend this A4 Cabrio with the 3.2L engine. 70K miles ain’t too bad, as this was the last year they made the A4 Cabrio. I had an 08 and LOVED it.

Jizyah Shorts is the Zion of this tourney, except he’s not losing. 

You must drive a 3-series, letting cost determine your “right to own the road”. Just because I have a good road bike doesn’t mean I can’t also ride where permitted by law.

We’re all just waiting to crown Jizyah Shorts, aren’t we?

Commas are our friends: