Worst day of the year: The Monday after the clocks change and it’s dark at 5pm. Knowing that a full Winter season is officially upon us gets my vote. F daylight savings and winter, both. 

Just got back from San Diego and I know it must suck for those who have to drive and walk around out there, but those scooters are the most fun things possible (don’t crash, ok?). The cost/minute of enjoyment is off the charts. Corporate event and about 7 of us took off during a break to ride these and these are my…

My son’s friend shredded two tires at once, learning how to parallel park in driver’s ed.

First: My Dad. He’s 73 and drives a Z convertible in manual, in Southern California. He has an on-ramp to the 5 South that’s a complete button hook (cloverleaf). He called me screaming a year ago that he “took an old guy in a Porsche” in that turn. Evidently he hauled such ass around the corner, nearly drifting, tires…

I want to make a run through Vegas with Muncy and Luke Voit. 

I yelled out CORNBREAD when he hit that shot. I’m not sure why, but he looks like a loaf of cornbread. So that’s what I’m going with.

I’m with you, Barry. C’mon Yanks fans, stop this crap. 

He’s the Brett Kavanaugh of announcers, minus the sexual assault allegations, thankfully. In there so young, we’ll have him forever.

Too many dingers? Fine by me.

I’m sorry. That’s all. I’m sorry for idiots like this.

Seconded. Raisins suck and they’re worse when you think they’re chocolate. Like the worst surprise ever.

OVERRULED. Raisins, or jelly nuggets, are easily replaced by chocolate chips in ANY BAKING RECIPE that calls for raisins. NO ONE DISPUTES THIS. Go ahead, what’s worse: Oatmeal raisin cookies or Oatmeal chocolate chip cookies?

I rank them

I’m out of witty insults. He’s a dipshit, that’s all.

Nah, he shrugged it off. He’s remarkable that way.

My dad had this car when he moved out to San Diego. Manual transmission, too. Loved that little car. Then my mom totaled it. She wasn’t driving it; he was. How, you astute reader, did this happen? Well: She crashed into him.

This is a good take. I love butternut squash soup, perfectly smooth and delicious. But my wife recently made sweet potato “soup” the same way. I can’t help but wonder why I’m eating baby food, not soup. Unless, of course, I add a dash of sriracha salt on top to give it ‘something’ to make it less Gerber-like.

I was there as my kids go there (senior, freshman). It was absurdly insane. He bounced the ball once and flung it off-balance. It was legitimately amazing.

This is 100% the proper take. Enjoy your star, as you’re the star today.

I’ll allow everything else, but... you MUST smoke the pork shoulder first. Let that replace the need for fake liquid smoke. And if you don’t have a smoker, why?