I’m amazed at Mark Davis and his financial discipline. For decades, the man has apparently refused to shell out $20 for a mirror.

The Davis fellow is living proof that you should never—never ever—sleep with your barbers wife.

This is heads up play.

Fun fact: the Dude never bowls.

That rug “really tied” the room together, not “pulled.”  Fix this atrocity NOW!!

I know, but I still love it.

I have it on good authority that thousands of Muslims will be celebrating in New Jersey...

I’m letting everybody know that when this bastard kicks it, I’m celebrating. I’m not biting my tongue, I’m throwing a party. If it’s a weekday, I’m calling in sick, getting drunk, and having a good time, because regardless of the weather, it’ll be a really great day.

The most disappointing part of my day is when I hear Trump hasn’t dropped dead yet. Come on deep state what are you waiting for?

Now, let’s just assume for a second that the pee tape is real, knowing that it will damn well be leaked (heh) on the internet, would you watch it?

My solution would be to have the first baseman wear a catcher’s uniform.

Hockey protocol would say the Eagles owe those hooligans a steak dinner, but considering how little these second division players make, I’d suggest they go Dutch.

Kraft’s wife died a few years back, so she technically isn’t his mistress.

You can’t tell Scalise that his idea would be “a whole new ball game.” He was fucking shot at a ball game.

If Obama had ever said anything remotely like “Take the guns first, go through due process second,” there would be flaming barricades going up on every street corner in Texas and Georgia.

My dad is sick and since this song at least heals me, Jackson Browne - Before The Deluge

The list is invalid if Dog Paddle is not #1.

I’d try to trip the opponents too if lack of effort could easily result in my murder and the murder of my family.

I’m straight up stealing this from a reddit thread from yesterday...

Yeah, I thought he was fine. His “she got married” comment was fucking cringeworthy, but he’s been OK by me otherwise. He’s also been fairly self-deprecating about his own career (“they hated when I ran first, because I always took the wrong lines”) which I thought was pretty cool.