But he was made during the Steve Jobs era!

You guys, don’t blame Apple for making those ill-advised statements. Clearly his internal processor was slowed down by forces outside his control.

He really should be making plans to get his PhD if he wants to avoid the Browns.

Let’s all go easy on this guy, he just woke up that day feeling particularly economically anxious.

Who invited the pedant?

There is no “cure for cancer” and there will never be a “cure for cancer” because cancer is not one enemy to be defeated, it is dozens (if not hundreds) of enemies that each need to be confronted. It’s a catchall term for a whole host of terrible diseases that share some common mechanisms.

Thankfully TB12's water regimen protects him from sick burns from Coach Belichick as well as from the sun.

Those final two minutes was probably the most insane last two minutes this season. Also, speaking on catches, that Gronk catch was absurd as someone that big should not be that nimble.

Two Wrights and one very, very wrong.

‘Please, save my leg!’

Hey, remember when on live TV a drunk Joe Namath sold Suzy Kolber that he wanted to kiss her?

Heavy Chevy (Live) - Alabama Shakes

The Browns are the Picasso of Losing: they show exquisite skill and creativity in their craft, and they are relentlessly good at it. They lose in OT, they lose in regulation, they lose close games, they lose blowouts. It’s incredibly impressive.

He displayed what is called the fencing response, where your body becomes immobile and you freeze your arms. This is a tell tale sign you have just become concussed.

Wrong. Philly fans are almost as insufferable as Boston fans and they’ve never fucking won anything in the past 30 years, besides one world series. If Philly teams had anywhere near the success of Boston teams, we’d have to nuke Philly to shut them up.

I want to meet the weirdo who asks him for a bite of his bologna sandwich and a swig of his milk.

26-14 or, as it’s known in Alabama, courtin’ ages.

I personally would be fine if they were still in China to face a full investigation.

I could NOT stop seeing “raccoons” even though I knew there was no R or S. Also, not usually food or drink...

Well, nothin’ from nothin’ leaves nothin’.