Thank goodness she got his phone as evidence. Most victims have McNary a clue who their attacker is.

His new number is too long to fit on it.

Sorry Tim, but there’s no way this qualifies as the new Tebow. I mean, Meyer’s clearly on the field.

This is really tasteless, Barry. That man just had his home broken into.

I talked to some Broncos players who said Manning was throwing more picks in practice in the past six weeks than at any other time.

Emmert went on to reveal that the parents of players on any team making the NIT finals would be fined $250.

Speaking of people who don't even bother to survey the situation before passing, the Jets also need a quarterback.

Deadspin has just provided the content for the first attack ad in the 2016 Republican Presidential Primary.

What Deadspin's Commenters' Parents Thought Of Deadspin This Year:

Neil Young and his longtime friend, Stephen Stills, perform Neil's composition, "Mr.Soul", as members of the supergroup Buffalo Springfield.

Speaking of canceling races, have the police killed all the black people yet?

Phosphate got phucked.

This is actually a violation of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, which is pretty impressive.

Mickey Rourke: [takes a shot]

Tom Joyce?

I recommend Kraft Mac 'n' Cheese. But since it's Thanksgiving, don't use the powdered cheese. Go with the little can of goo. And might as well prepare it there and show of f your culinary skills.

Ten minutes later, his Frosty was ready.

You certainly can do it that way, so long as you make the bechamel thin enough that you can pour it over top of the potatoes and have it drain down through them. But, there's a lot of extra work involved in doing it that way, and I doubt it'd improve the finished product all that much.