If his statements are out of touch and don't reflect the reality of NFL players and their lives today, maybe he should no longer be on television. Lord knows ESPN employs enough ex-football players who know better.

So you have heard of it.

PSU asked for the Freeh report, yet they still complain that it's worthless? Come on people, you get what you pay for.

We'll have more shit for you soon.

Thirty years later, and Pepsi still can't get their commercials right.

His rote parroting of the "tradition" abstractions at this point sound so hollow it's hard to believe even he believes them.

How would a horse even catch a Porsche to arrest him?

Dammit. I had my "bailed out by Evgeni Malkin again?" joke loaded and ready to go.

Happy Anniversary. Here's how you can make it to 43.

Day 12 is also our 42nd anniversary. About 17 to 18 months ago I posted this thing on Jezebel that may give y'all an idea how I feel about Mrs. Erg.

Side effects of amphetamine use include gritty discharge in the urine.

Music You Usually Don't Listen To DUAN

Something tells me Cowherd's saving his most vitriolic rant for the All Blacks.

Considering many of these reporters have ear pieces that force them to listen to Chris Berman during segments, I'd say its already happening.

Oh, sure, all you soccer hipsters over here acting like your "football" is better because your fans shove dildoes in the ears of your reporters. Well, you're right. Someone please do this to Chris Mortensen.

I'll have to grab The Kingston Trio. Some of their stuff is no longer available.

the casting call for "F Troop, The Next Generation" ran long.

I just realized that since I'm retired it might not be right for me to celebrate Labor Day. This is a dootlin' mess.

Hmm... I'll have to check my cupboard. I'm not sure if there's room for it.

I guess you might as well add his ring finger to things he won't be allowed to use while he's on the Browns.