Man, where’s the laser-guided bomb strike when you need it??

Twitter: the preferred medium of morons and assholes all around the world.

Man, Chris Bosh will always be a player

True. But in fairness, Simmons is awful (in front of a camera, anyway).

Ah yes, ye olde Ford Gloryhole.

Q: is she complaining that dude should have come after her earlier? Also, screaming aside, the way she takes that hit she makes Joey Batts look like a punk-ass-bitch.

Hot Take: Apocalypse Now is, aside from a few iconic scenes, a self-indulgent pile of coked-up, pretentious garbage.

This is the only possible correct answer (and I’m in the same boat as HighlySelassie).

I’m going to blame your take on the “death of the hot take” article the other day.

My first thought:

I’m sure the tide will turn back eventually.

Wow, I’d never heard of Vineyard Vines before - holy douchenozzle!

GRONKPORN? I can’t even...

Oh come on, if you’ve spent any time in a wind-orchestra-thingy, the answer is easy:

Well that certainly was more to-the-point than usual. Fitting, though, considering this fuckstick never really mattered anyway.

Now that’s some pedantry I can get behind!

+1 Wilhelm Scream

We have a lot of cats, and when it comes to hugging them, my desire to do so is directly proportional to their annoyance at my doing it. (I’ve also been known to nibble on their feet.) Except for our “former feral” - she’ll fuck your shit up:

Half of the Braves’ roster this year is “let’s remember some guys”. The other half is “who the fuck are these guys???”

You would think this the incredibly obvious step but, well, here we are.