It’s easy!

In fairness, ducks don’t have sphincters...

So, wait, he’s pining at length of the travails of the moderately wealthy who have to deal with the unwashed masses while enjoying symbols of conspicuous consumption? How has the NY Times style section not yet hired him???

Even as a Blackhawks fan, I love this.

Counter-counterpoint: a Venn-diagram of “former athlete who knows football” and “is a cunt” would be close to circular.

Dear God, if you sincerely believe that Nantz and Sims are “good” imma have to track you down and throat-punch you.

I personally would be happy if there were no post-game press conferences again, anywhere, ever - primarily so ESPN wouldn’t feel the need to cover them (holy shit I’d rather put out my own eyes with sporks than watch that boring-ass, pointless shit).

Holy shit, look at that, musicians who need monitors because their instruments are actually plugged in and they’re actually playing!

This all, of course, reinforces my contention relative to his ‘sex addiction’ for which he was purportedly treated.

You left out that Beltre also, unlike Chipper, isn’t a redneck douchebro.

Wasn’t that SOP for this team, at least most nights?

Don’t know, but Casey Cagle is a complete and total asshole, so there’s that.

What if the cows were murdered to make chicken-fried steaks for Sandoval? Six cows might be enough for one serving for him.

They’re gonna do what to Cleveland State now?

GODDAMNIT WE’RE HERE FOR JOKES NOT SERIOUS ANALYSIS

Considering I can find them for half that price, I might just go with what you’ve suggested (and opt for the additional pack of guides so as to have the 1").

Introducing the 2016 season leader in balks...

I just got into the habit right before Xmas this past year, but I find that it looks better once it’s grown back a bit; in truth, I need a better set of clippers so there can be a bit more styling involved, and also so they don’t die mid-buzz as they’ve threatened to do on multiple occasions.

I heard Isotoners are nice.

The better question is why you or anyone else would willingly subject yourself to any of the above. (Tim has to because it’s his job. I guess.)