Holy shit: as a Maryland alum who spent the four years (okay, 3.5) prior to that in a fackin’ Massachusetts high school, which was a wicked pissah (actual quote from my first day there: “you talk funny - you pronounce all yah aahhs”, I want this shirt with the burning intensity of 1,000 suns.

*sigh*

Then Drew walks in, becomes horribly embarrassed by the conversation topic, which in turn makes everyone else uncomfortable, so then they talk about polo shirts in between making fart jokes.

It is the way of Burneko. Just be glad he didn’t compare RG to Scott Walker.

I would have sued everyone involved to

It’s all Corpse Meat in a meaningless hellscape, designed to stave off the eternal blackness for one more day, anyway...

Let me guess: not only is the pizza Papa John’s, but you also have to sit through a 2-hour presentation from Peyton Manning about his pyramid scheme multi-level marketing opportunity.

Come on, can’t you at least force Drew to do something stupid/awkward/embarrassing if you win? That would be win-win-win!

I didn’t realize that “aspirin” was the new street name for “enough painkillers to incapacitate a horse”.

I heard Jim Tomsula will do it for a fresh pack of athletic socks and his choice of items on the tray return at the dining hall.

+1 river fire... well, okay, like +8 to 12 river fires...

Is that you, Drew?

I prefer my coffee the Steve Francis way - strong, black and full of liquor.

Judging by that hat, I’d say Melo was about to hurry home and post some dank memes on Reddit.

Oh man, this is way under-appreciated...

hurr durr all lives matter I’m a troll hurr durr durr white genocide Trump hurr durr

CLUTCHMAN83 YOU’RE TEARING ME APART!

Jason Campbell is semi-good in the way that Johnny Manziel is semi-not-an-asshole.