I buy kitchen towels and microfiber cloths on amazon. The thing I can't get Barnacle Bill to realize is that once it's been used to dry dishes then to wipe down and clean countertops, I'll place them on the floor, spread out near the trash can to dry out. If he sees them there, i'll try to put them on the…

Down comforters are so nice, it was hard to go back.

I just got called "snippy" for waking up this morning, too early, in part because Barnacle Bill was up and makes a shit ton of noise as he does. Loud yawning, sighing (complete with mouth smacking), stretching, throwing his shoes on the ground before putting them on.

perhaps you should re-each him how to pee. I hear cheerios in the bowl make good targets.

This is strange for me to read because I worry that perhaps I will be susceptible to the competitive nature of some circles to raise gifted, advanced children. The thing is, like that George Lopez standup where he describes Mexican families giving their kids "You ain't shit" balloons, there was a certain element of…

Ok this isn't me, but I witnessed two epic meltdowns by a cheerleader when I was in high school.

I did something similar yesterday during a nap. I was feeling a little ill from a way too rich lunch from a hipster cafe that bakes really great bread which makes their sandwiches that much better. But it was a lot of food and I stuffed my face and needed to nap like a python.

Read tomandlorenzo.com red carpet coverage on their site. it's really the best. They are smart and funny and do not shame. The criticism comes from a celebrity not being styled right for their bodies, and they have said often that they wouldn't lay down that kind of critique on a regular person but there is a huge…

Yes, agreed. I had the tendency to be a little know it all until a teacher or friend smacked me down. Should have been my mom who no doubt caught me in bad suppositions and like...trite notions throughout my childhood but just sorta let it slide.

I'll hand it to Snowden for the most creative way to keep a cray cray girlfriend at bay.

Yeah..my bet is not drugs but idiotic self absorption. The kind of person who thinks that poetry is not subject to critique and that elevated language strung together without regard to meaning, syntax, or rhetorical purpose = art. it usually means this person never understood any poems she read so that's her goal in…

Kurt Loder is legit. That interview was hilarious.

And that's three years with almost no mention of black history or the reason Texas wanted rid of Mexican governance—Mexico outlawed slavery. I've taught community college in Texas where one student described having the Constable (really, that's what they call cops here) called on him for reading Malcolm X during…

This Mister feller is a national treasure. He quotes the Rock and posts bizarro maps that literally no one would agree demarcate correctly.

The problem with long term exposure to mediocre food is that people become nostalgic about some really gnarly shit. So, I agree with you. I don't think "toasting" some pasta is going to knock my socks off not when going head to head with Little Italy! Holy shit.

Look, St. Louis area cops are doing their best to handle the demographics problem plaguing their area.

I can't help it. I giggled like a teenage boy over this story.

Oh man. I like my fiance's family quite a bit, but this weekend I got a physical demonstration about how Mike Brown was in the wrong for moving toward the cop. So...maybe I should rethink the protracted monologue on the importance (to film) of Birth of a Nation I was given at our first meal together—Thanksgiving day…

Jeb Bush's recent multi-decade anniversary was celebrated with only one photo to remember the wedding. A relative named Marvin took the photos, only one of which wasn't double exposed or otherwise ruined. It's become shorthand around I Thee Dread for folks who ruin weddings.

Makes me want to dig up that old Clap Your Hands Say Yeah album-