This movie gets two things right. That plane rescue sequence and casting Brandon Routh. His turn as Ray Palmer in the Arrowverse shows he has exactly the right amount of “Aw, shucks” type charisma to play the Big Blue Boy Scout but the script and direction of Returns doesn’t let him show that.

Are you kidding me? The secret service Slack channel must have been blowing up with people placing bets on how long it would take for him to notice.

Don’t google this. I made that mistake. But then again, you should be familiar with the ocular region so maybe it’s not as distressing.

I simultaneously really want to see a picture of this and don’t want to see a picture of this at all. 

Do not agree at all. I felt his fear and loneliness esp when the door blew off or when he was driving through that “storm.” His frustration when trying to OG communicate with NASA via the pathfinder. Felt that. It’s been a while since I read the book, but I stand by this statement. I’ve seen and read enough space…

I agree with this article and enjoy wrestling a lot more the less I watch and read about.  Hot take I know!

DEM NO GOOD CARPET BAGGING JEWS

Any commute in the DMV longer than 30 minutes is FAR AF. Period.

This looks like a Joker that is knocking on your door because his parole terms require him to inform the neighbors of his presence.

I feel that he may die during the return to his home planet.

This is really depressing.

So then, why do they all feel entitled to know his criminal record?

My favorite recent genre of story is some dude who has a dream job but fucks that up by saying the N-word. I enjoy it purely for the schadenfreude.

“A good lesson to take from this is that it’s never a good idea to use racial slurs at work.”

Great, what’s next for these libtard snowflake office rules? A requirement that I wear a shirt? A requirement that I only piss and shit in the bathroom?  THANKS OBUMMER

Sacramento is finalizing a trade to send forward Let’s Remember a Guy to Memphis for Let’s Remember a Guy, Not a Real Guy and cash, league sources tell ESPN.

I once counted the number of separate law enforcement entities on patrol in my area and hit double figures.

<clapping slowly.... stands up.... forcefully clapping....>

Under Ohio law, strippers are not allowed to touch patrons—unless it’s a family member.

No, but her psychology is not half-bad. And she either can’t take bumps yet or she can take them really well, because she sold the shit out of Nia. 

In what way is Ronda being portrayed like a female Eugene?