Coach K ordered spaghetti with marinara sauce, but it appears he got egg noodles and ketchup. #dukebasketball

@Its The Beer Talking: #worldseries

We have a Matt Stairs sighting!

Pfft...who hasn't spent a night in Bethany? Tramp. #timtebow

Ever hear of the Mitchell Report? Well these are the Pedo Files. #timdonaghy

@ScientificMapp: I went to High School YKK. No button-fly jeans allowed. #running

Guess what the biggest threat to humanity is.... MANBEARPIG!!!!! ...and I'm cereal about it!!!

But 34-year-old linebackers...uh, they worry me.

Redskins fans are now so disillusioned they've gone meta.

@Its The Beer Talking: #dansnyder

I love you long time for such scoop.

In 12 years, Antoine Walker made roughly 55 million NBA dollars

Mortensen said "wig" twice, which leads me to believe that one of them was a merkin. #bradchildress

I think I see Blazer Girl! #

@100percentinjuryrate: Carl Monday considers that to be "sex". #mediameltdowns

Berson: Now, I'd like to play something th — well, actually, it's my latest so it's nice and fresh. It's called "Hot And Heavy."

Security is notoriously lax at the new Stadium, just like its predecessor. Back in '97, I saw a man "streak" during a Yankees-Orioles game while donning a flesh-colored bodysuit. #whyyourstadiumsucks

Analyst: Steve Phillips

SVP of Corporate Communications?

At Don Draper Military Night, all fans in attendance will be able to assume the identity of a casualty of war. #hockey